Love You Like I Can
by sportsnightnut
Summary: If it wasn't in this moment, it would be never. A semi-AU S4/S5 story.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Happy weekend, everyone! This is a collaboration between me and the ever-so-wonderful **MayAnderson19**, who has become a dear friend over the past (almost) month! I went to her with this totally crazy fic idea and asked her if I was nuts, and somehow, she didn't think so and was totally on board with it! So I asked if she'd start writing with me, and here we are. :)

This is an alternate end to Season 4/beginning to Season 5. It starts in what would be early S5 and there will be flashbacks to late S4. It will be a mixture of canon events you'll recognize and AU events you won't, so we hope you'll stick around to see where it goes!

The title, which was May's idea, is taken from the Sam Smith song "Like I Can." It's an awesome Willicia song and we highly recommend checking it out.

I think that's all for now. Onward with the story!

* * *

Alicia Florrick reaches for the stack of papers in front of her and studies her hands in a way she's never studied them before.

Her nails are polished, as usual; a dark cherry red this time, instead of the slightly-boring-but-definitely-professional neutrals for which she typically opts.

She notices the tiny scratch on the back of her right hand, probably from a cardboard moving box.

But what really strikes her is how naked her left hand looks, because there's no longer a shiny diamond ring on it.

The papers in front of her are crisp, fresh-off-the-copier packets with automatic staples placed perfectly in the left-hand corner. There are three copies there, so she unstacks them and lays them out side by side. She folds her hands neatly and looks up at the men sitting across from her.

Peter.

Eli.

And some lawyer's name she hasn't bothered to remember.

She looks to her right, where Cary sits, articulately stating that "his client" (it's her) is amenable to the terms of this agreement and is prepared to sign "them" (those packets in front of her) and asks if "your client" (Peter) is ready to do the same.

The other lawyer whose name she can't remember takes entirely too long to say "yes," but as soon as he does, Alicia picks up the pen resting in front of her. She can't decide if she should scribble her signature, as she's become accustomed to doing over the years, or if she wants this last time to be neat and perfect, as it used to be, years ago, right after they were married and all she wanted to do was scrawl her new last name at every chance she got.

She's never thought about her signature this much, and it's a little unnerving.

She settles on a legible signature somewhere in between a scribble and perfect cursive; this is the last time she will officially sign her name as Alicia Florrick.

Cary reaches over and takes the packets from her, passing them to Peter's lawyer. Peter doesn't give a second thought to how his signature looks; he signs them, he looks up at Alicia, and that's that.

The divorce is final.

* * *

Alicia takes a seat on a park bench and pauses to reflect on all the things that have led to this moment; no more ring, no more husband, and a last name she can no longer consider her own.

She wonders exactly when it all began; if it began before it even started. If it began at Georgetown, on that humid August night when she met William Paul Gardner. Had her life plan been decided that early on? And why did the universe allow her to deviate from that plan by marrying Peter?

Alicia doesn't have the answers to any of these questions; she just knows she's dug quite a hole in the dirt with the point of her shoe.

She reaches for the phone in the front pocket of her purse. She unlocks it, scrolling through a few e-mails and texts before lifting it to her ear. He answers on the first ring.

"Hey. You okay?" are the first words out of his mouth.

"It's...over," she says, the words spilling out. It's the first time she's said it out loud, and somehow, that makes it all the more real.

"Want me to meet you somewhere? The usual place?"

Alicia laughs, which feels good in her throat. "Will, it's ten in the morning. I can't drink tequila at ten in the morning, especially not in a public place."

Will chuckles. "Yeah, you're probably right. Okay. Breakfast, then? At that place you like on State, the one with the pancakes?"

"Are you sure you can get away? I don't..." she pauses.

"The benefit of being me is that I get to make my own schedule," he replies. "And I am scheduling myself out of the office for a little while. So are you."

"But, the..." she starts, thinking of the stack of files on her desk.

"It's _fine_," he reassures her. "You finalized your divorce today. I don't think you want to be buried in cases and witness prep this afternoon. You don't have court until Monday. You can take the day off."

"Okay. Pancakes," she affirms. "Pancakes sound good."

* * *

Alicia arrives first, so she asks to be seated in the corner. The hostess leads her to a squishy red booth, places the menus on the table, and smiles at Alicia as she shrugs off her suit jacket. "Coffee?"

"Yes, for both of us, thank you," Alicia responds, smiling in kind.

"Cream and sugar?"

"Just cream."

The waitress returns moments later with two giant, steaming mugs of coffee. Alicia wraps her hands around her mug, thankful for the warmth. Despite the summer heat outside, her hands feel cold and exposed. She pours three creamers in Will's mug and four in her own, and begins to stir, watching the cream swirl into the black coffee until it's that perfect lightness.

It's not long before Will slides into the booth across from her. The moment she sees his smiling face, every tense muscle in her body relaxes; every aching bone in her body stops hurting.

"Hey," he says simply, squeezing her hand quickly.

"Hey," she replies, offering him a weak smile. "I ordered you coffee."

"With three creamers," he observes, and shakes his head. "You always remember."

The waitress comes back and asks if they're ready to order. Alicia looks at Will uncertainly, not sure if he's ready, but he indicates to the waitress that he'll be ready by the time Alicia finishes ordering.

"I'll have the blueberry pancakes," she says, pointing to them on the menu. "With bacon. And could I get a side of strawberries, please?"

"Sure thing," the waitress says, scribbling down her order. "And for you?"

Will scrutinizes the menu. "I'll have the french toast. With bacon. And strawberries sound good." He smiles at Alicia.

"I'll put that right in," she says as she picks up their menus. "Need more coffee, dear?"

Alicia hadn't realized how quickly she'd downed the mug in front of her. "Oh. Yes, please."

After the waitress returns with a full mug, Will studies Alicia as she methodically opens four tiny creamers and stirs them into the coffee. He doesn't want to think it's surprising that she looks well, because to him, she always looks perfect; but she doesn't look tired, or worn down, or exhausted. She doesn't look unhappy. She looks a little uncertain, but not unhappy.

Will knows the road before them is going to be full of bumps and probably of bruises, but he's ready. He's ready to face it all head-on, because he knows that at the end of it, he'll get to be with Alicia. For real. For good.

"Everything go okay?" he asks quietly, not wanting to reveal their topic of discussion.

Alicia nods. "Everything is signed, no problems. Cary is making sure everything is filed."

"Grace and Zach?"

"They seem to be okay," she says, with a shrug. "Zach is taking it a little easier than Grace, but that's to be expected."

"And everything is being kept quiet?"

She nods again, now speaking in hushed tones. "There were a couple rumors floating around after the paperwork was initially filed, but I don't think anyone honestly believed them. It would be stupid, right, just after he got elected?"

Will chuckles. "Yeah. Pretty stupid."

Alicia stares into her coffee for several moments before looking back at Will. "I'm gonna need some time," she says, biting her lip as she tries to hold back the tears.

Will's voice is so compassionate, so sympathetic when he says he knows, he understands.

"I'll give you as much time as you need, Leesh. I'm not going anywhere."

Their plates of food arrive, so they change the subject to things much more lighthearted. Will tries to interest her in some baseball talk, which she attempts to soak in because she knows it's important to him. She talks about her plans to take Zach and Grace to the beach next month, a mini-vacation for the three of them. And of course they talk a little about work, about Alicia's upcoming week in court, how to prepare for voir dire on Monday, what to do for witness prep. She offers him suggestions on his current case, and suddenly it's like they're back at Georgetown, two bright-eyed kids excited about the law and about the world of opportunities before them.

After she finishes her pancakes, Will offers to stay with her, to walk with her, but Alicia declines.

"I think I need some time alone?" she says, more like a question than a statement. He nods; it's for the best.

"Get some rest," he adds, as he stands up from the booth. He reaches for her jacket and hands it to her; she folds it over her arm and throws her purse over the opposite shoulder. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow," she repeats, and they head out of the restaurant, turning opposite ways-Will, back to the office, Alicia, back home.

* * *

It's midday when Alicia arrives back to an empty apartment. Zach and Grace are both out doing the typical things teenagers do during their summer reprieve from school-hanging out somewhere with friends. She drops her keys in the bowl by the door, and they make a loud clattering sound in the quiet entryway.

She heads to her bedroom, placing her jacket neatly over the back of the chair. The bed she made just a few hours ago has her name written all over it, so she sits on the edge of it and kicks off her shoes before lying down and crumpling the smooth comforter.

As Alicia's head touches the cool surface of the pillow, she finds herself staring at the ceiling, thinking how odd this whole thing feels.

She's no longer Alicia Florrick, but she can't tell anyone that. She can count on two hands the number of people who know about her divorce, not including Peter and his lawyer: Owen, Grace, Zach, Veronica, Cary, Eli, and Will.

No one else knows; no one else is supposed to know.

It's about to be Chicago's most well-guarded secret, the fact that the Governor and First Lady are divorced.

Alicia's head is spinning, just a little, because she can barely comprehend how it is she got to be here, in a place that's so quiet and so alone, in a world that's about to be full of whispers and lies.

She closes her eyes, allowing herself to drift back to the night that brought her here in the first place.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Hi everyone! Thanks for being patient in waiting for an update. We wanted to have more written before we posted this chapter so we don't have to make you wait so long next time. ;) This chapter is brought to you by **MayAnderson19**!

By the way, we are honoring the timeline of the show, even though election night doesn't occur during the right time of year-so this is a flashback to about three months ago, in April. Enjoy!

* * *

Alicia walked into the election party, her mind a mess. She knew she should feel excited and happy for Peter, whatever might happen, but she didn't feel anything of the sort. It was chaos inside of her head. She couldn't stop thinking about Will, about their kiss, and how he had said they needed to talk. Of course they needed to talk after that. She wouldn't- no, _couldn't-_ go and be with Will. It was a bad idea. She knew that and yet she couldn't help but feel so much better when she thought about what it could be like if they were together.

But that wouldn't happen. Alicia knew Peter was going to be the next Governor of Illinois. It was an hour until they would officially find out, but she already knew. And it had nothing to do with the votes that she had been able to admit. Though she knew she should feel happy about that, she couldn't. Her thoughts stayed with Will, and as always, he just wouldn't leave her head.

She smiled half-heartedly to some people in the hotel suite as she entered the party. They were just campaign workers and she didn't have the energy to stop and talk to any of them. She'd already been up all night and only had a couple hours of sleep since. She was exhausted, so she simply walked through all of the people and found her way to one of the bedrooms. She was extremely thankful to find it empty. She meandered toward the bed and placed her bag on the table next to the bathroom door, sat down onto the soft bed with her back straight, and crossed her legs. She was just too tired to try and be the happy and good wife she was expected to be on this particular night. Unfortunately, she was also too tired to block out any unwanted thoughts.

She wanted to forget about the car, and telling Will she didn't know how figure her way out of… _whatever_ it was. It was a never ending cycle of her wanting Will but trying to stay faithful to Peter. It always felt like it would be one or the other and she was constantly stuck in between. The only thing she knew (but couldn't make any sense of) was that she felt something electric when she was near Will. She once felt that with her husband but it wasn't strong now like it was with Will. He caused this reaction inside of her that wouldn't let up and was so intoxicating she thought she could pass out from it at any moment if he got too close to her. That was the feeling that erupted when they kissed, and it was terrifying but felt like the best thing in the world. She knew she had to get away from that; it was dangerous, _and she was with Peter._

She stayed in the bedroom the entire time the party was going on and switched on the television five minutes before the announcement by the news. The nerves were crazy in her body and she hated that she hadn't gone out of the room to get a glass of wine, but she couldn't face any of the people. As the newscaster said Peter's name she was happy and proud, and she smiled, for a moment. Then she looked through the open door to see how everybody was celebrating for Peter. They all helped him win, and she wanted to be that excited, but it was too much.

And then she saw Will. It was just the back of his head, but she knew it was him. Of course she knew.

He shook hands with a man and then he turned around to shake hands with another person, and he caught her eye.

See, if Alicia Florrick was in her right mind she'd question _why_ Will Gardner, of all people, would be at _Governor _Peter Florrick's celebration party. Except she wasn't in her right mind, so she didn't question why.

She stood quickly and smiled warmly to Will as he took a few steps into the room.

"Congratulations, _First Lady,_" he said to her with a smile on his face. Suddenly it felt entirely real once someone called her First Lady. It didn't come as naturally to her as she once thought it would just after Peter announced he was running.

"That sounds… odd." She started to frown, but she shook it off and smiled, for Will.

"I bet." And the awkward atmosphere appeared around them. She could tell he wanted to talk now, even though it was bad timing. It seemed so stupid that the inevitable _Bad Timing_ always followed the two of them. He was right when they were in his car, she realized that now. To hell with the bad timing.

"Let's talk," she blurted out, even before she knew what she was really saying. She watched as Will's face changed to a hopeful sort of confusion.

"Now?" he asked, and she nodded confidently. She was sure she wanted to talk. Wherever it ended up between them, they needed to talk.

"I'll grab my coat and meet you downstairs." Will nodded in agreement and reached a hand up to her arm. He squeezed it softly and dropped it back to his side again before he turned and left. Alicia turned to grab her bag and walked out of the room. She had no idea where Peter was, but she didn't care too much. He'd still be there when she returned to the suite.

She wrapped her scarf around her neck and buttoned up her jacket as she walked out the lobby of the hotel and found herself of the sidewalk. Will stood there looking to the street, watching the few cars pass by.

"Will." She called to him and without hesitation he spun around to look at her. Seeing the hopeful look on his face made her heart sink. She never wanted to hurt him, but she didn't know how she could be with him. It was too complicated and no matter how much she wanted to make it work, it just wouldn't. She had to make Will realize that now because if it wasn't in this moment, it would be never.

"Alicia." He said her name in a way that was only for them, and she despised it now. She didn't want to be pulled into it again. She had to remain strong, so she left a good meter of space between them.

"We can't keep doing this. I'm sorry, but we can't. You _know_ it wouldn't work. Not with the way things are with me." She paused and all she could focus on was the hurt in his eyes. She hated seeing him that way, hated that she made him that way. He closed his eyes and dropped his head, almost in defeat already. "Will, you know it. I have to stay with Peter. He needs me…" His head shot up and the hurt and defeat in his eyes were replaced with anger.

"You don't _have _to do anything, Alicia!" He started to yell at her and when she tried to protest back he shouted even louder. "That son of a bitch doesn't _need _you! He cheated on you. He cheated on you and lied about it time and time again. He hurt you and because of that, he doesn't _deserve_ to need you!"

"Stop it, Will! He's different. It's behind us and I'm going to stay with him." Alicia tried to defend herself by yelling back at him.

"He hasn't changed, and a part of you knows that. The part of you that wants to try being with me. You're scared and I understand that but he doesn't need you like _I _need you!" His words hit her like a ton of bricks. She didn't want to hear any of it because it sounded too true. It was so true, and it hurt her to really hear it.

"You don't know him like I do. I have… an obligation to stay with him now." She tried to reason, but it was useless anyway. She barely had one leg to stand on in this discussion, let alone two.

"An obligation? Is that what you want your marriage to be? _An obligation?_" Will took a step closer to her and took her hands in his. They were so warm and she didn't want to let go. She was just so tired of it all. Trying to think it through and decide and eventually pick Peter. "He hurt you. You told me how much it hurt, and I could never forget your words." His voice was softer, and that hit her harder than his loud voice. She dropped her head as she started to feel the tears coming through.

"I forgave him…" she said softly, and he let go of one of her hands to cup her cheek and lift her head up. His eyes were forgiving, and she almost got lost in them. It was so easy to sometimes.

"I want you to be happy, Alicia. You aren't as happy as you can be with him. I can make you happy, and I'm sure you know that."

"It'd never work…" she whispered and the tears in her eyes fell as she blinked, and Will wiped them away, his warm hands leaving trails behind on her skin.

"If we try, it will." He looked at her with such care in his eyes, trying to convince her.

"How can you be so sure?"

Will let go of her other hand and held her other cheek, letting his thumbs stroke softly over her cheekbones.

"Because I've been sure of _this_… ever since Georgetown." He chose that moment to start smiling, and it worked on her because she smiled back. That same feeling of electricity shot through her spine and activated every sense she had. She leaned forward and pressed her lips softly to his. Right now it was enough for her. He had the better argument and she was sure it was because of all his years spent in a courtroom. He made his case, and it had won. She didn't want her marriage to be an obligation, and she never thought it would be until Will had made her realize it. She felt silly for wanting him to realize things she couldn't even think of anymore (because he had his tongue running along her bottom lip to gain access into her mouth and it was the best distraction from her thoughts she had ever encountered), but he was the one to make her realize that she couldn't be stuck in this marriage to Peter. He may need her, but it was only for his political reasons. Otherwise Eli never would have told her. He wouldn't get into something so personal. Peter would be fine without her-at least she hoped so.

She and Will parted ways; he protested slightly but conceded once she told him she had to talk to Peter. So she went back up to the celebration, found Peter, congratulated him, and told him she'd see him the next day.

"_I'm just too tired from court last night, and this morning,"_ she said, and he understood.

* * *

Alicia woke up early the next morning and got ready for a normal work day. Half an hour before she had to leave there was a knock at her door, and she knew who it was. She let him in and they both went through to the kitchen. She almost reconsidered the decision she made the night before once she saw how happy he was. How proud he was that he'd won the Governorship. She regretted having to tell him, but like Will had said, she didn't want her marriage to him to be an obligation.

So she took in a deep breath and looked Peter in the eyes.

"I want to get a divorce."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Hi everyone! My apologies for the delay in updating. If you read the drabble I posted earlier today, you know already that some things in my professional life have unfortunately been taking time away from things in my personal life. I am hopeful things will settle down soon.

You will recognize a couple of Alicia's lines in here from Season 5-from 5.14, "A Few Words" and 5.17, "A Material World." I think I like the way they're used here a little better. ;)

So for now, the next installment of this wonderful collaboration. Thanks as always to **MayAnderson19**, my wonderful writing buddy. This story wouldn't exist without her :)

* * *

Alicia picks up her phone, stares at it for a moment, then sets it back down on the counter.

_This is stupid_, she thinks. _You're not in high school._

Then she pushes her wine glass away with her index finger, watching the red liquid slosh around in the glass.

She picks up her phone, stares at it for a moment, then sets it back down on the counter.

Then she downs the rest of the wine in her glass and decides to just _call him_.

"Hey!" Will answers, happy to hear from her. "What's up? I'm just finishing a couple things here."

"Oh, um...do you want to come over?" she says nervously, then exhales. "I...the kids are down in Springfield for the weekend, and I just thought maybe we could watch a movie or...something?"

_Sweet lord, Alicia, is this the first time you've ever talked to a man? _

She's not sure, but she thinks she can feel him smile through the phone. "I'll pick up some food on my way. Thai?"

"Yes please. And maybe some wine?" she asks hopefully. _You're apparently going to need it to construct complete sentences._

"You got it. I'll be there in an hour or so."

Alicia's lips form into a confused pucker. She realizes she has absolutely no idea what she (or they) are doing. Are they dating? Are they friends? Are they not-dating-but-more-than-friends? She's never been a fan of those "defining the relationship" conversations (DTR, as Owen likes to say) but it looks like she and Will are going to have one, and soon.

And speak of the devil, her phone begins buzzing.

"Hellooooo!" Owen says brightly when she answers. "Whatcha doooooin?"

"Owen," she says, a little more sharply than she meant to.

"You're busy," he states. "Sorry to bother you."

"No, no, Owen, I'm sorry. It's just been a weird night so far. What's up?"

"Just wanted to see how you're doing," he says, sounding softer and more mature than usual.

"I'm...fine. Good, actually," she corrects herself. "Will is coming over tonight."

"Oooooh," he says, and Alicia rolls her eyes; he's back to the normal Owen state of mind. "Kids are away, eh?"

"I don't think it's like that," she says, unsure. "I...don't really know what we're doing. He's bringing food over. We'll probably just eat and watch a movie."

"Mmmhmm," he teases, then pauses. "'Licia, you know you guys are gonna have to talk about it eventually, right? You can't go on forever just assuming you're something if you're not, or assuming you're not something if you are."

Wiser words had rarely, if ever, left Owen's lips.

"I know," she says, sighing. "It's just...Owen, we're not kids anymore. I feel a little ridiculous talking to Will about whether or not I'm ready to be his _girlfriend._" But as ridiculous as she thought the word would sound coming out of her mouth, she realizes she doesn't mind it so much after all.

"You and Peter officially divorced less than a month ago. If Will is the kind of guy you say he is, he's not going to expect anything more from you than what you're able to give," he says, that softer and more mature Owen returning to the conversation. "Don't rush into anything. But, you know, don't let that stop you from sleeping with the guy. He's _dreamy."_

Alicia wonders how he can switch back and forth between these two completely different versions of her brother so very quickly.

"I've liked Will for a long time," she adds. "That hasn't changed. It just feels a little strange and sudden to be with him so soon after Peter."

"Peter hasn't been your husband for a long time," Owen says, his voice low, and Alicia knows he's right. "Like I said, don't...do anything crazy. But don't be _too_ scared to be happy, sis. I know how you are."

She chuckles. "Thanks. I'll call you next weekend? Maybe we can have breakfast. I know Zach and Grace would like to see you."

"Sounds good. Love ya!"

"Love you too, Owen."

Setting the phone down again, Alicia considers briefly if she should change: she's in yoga pants and a t-shirt. Will has seen her in worse, for sure, but not recently. Not since Georgetown.

"_Good morning," Will said, reaching over to rest his hand on her cheek. He brushed her cheekbone with his thumb as he smiled at her. Alicia returned the smile as she opened her eyes fully to the man opposite her._

"_Good morning," she responded as she looked at him suspiciously. "You're looking at me all weird, Will."_

_He shook his head. "Not weird. Just glad I get to see you like this."_

"_What do you mean?" she asked, suddenly self-conscious. _

_Will laughed softly, gently. "It's not bad. You're just...beautiful, Leesh."_

_He saw her look down and survey herself: gray sweatpants, a navy blue tank top with a faded Georgetown emblem, and crazy messy hair._

"_I don't know what about this would make you think that," she said, gesturing to herself. _

_Will surveyed her, and what he saw was completely different: a tank top that hugged her in all the right places, adorably messy, curly hair, a little bit of mascara smudged under her eyes that she'd missed the night before. He saw her bright hazel-green eyes, her perfect cheekbones, and that smile she reserved only for him._

"_Everything."_

She is immediately returned to the present when she hears a knock on the door. _No turning back now._

Alicia opens the door to Will, who stands there in jeans and a crisp white button-down, holding food in one hand and wine in the other.

"Hi! C'mon in," she says, and steps aside to let him enter. He sets the food down on the kitchen counter and pulls the wine out of its paper bag. It's merlot, something he knows she likes.

Alicia follows him to the kitchen, admiring the way he's mixed casual and work clothing, admiring the way he'd slipped off his shoes at the door and left them next to hers, admiring the way he looks here, standing in her kitchen. It doesn't feel weird, or wrong, or any of the things she had anticipated it feeling. It just feels _good._

"Do you want to…" Will starts to ask, but he is cut off by the sudden assault of Alicia's lips on his and her hands on the back of his neck, her body pushing him toward the counter behind him.

She stops momentarily for air, and Will's eyes are wide open. "I was gonna ask if you wanted to eat in here or in the living room, but I think I like your plan better."

Alicia laughs against his mouth, and his whole body is filled with the joy of her laughter. He puts both hands on her face as he takes control of the kiss, practically smashing his lips into hers.

This isn't the first time they've kissed in the past month, but it's the first time it's been like _this._

She walks backward, ever so gracefully toward the bedroom, his hands never leaving her face, her lips leaving his only slightly when she stumbles over something on the floor. They fall onto the bed in a singular motion, and the rest of the world disappears for the next thirty minutes.

* * *

Will props himself up on his arm, looking at Alicia next to him, all sweaty and undone. "Well," he says, and she just laughs.

"Yeah," she says, almost sheepishly. "I, just...you, in my kitchen...I couldn't wait 'till later."

He runs his thumb along Alicia's cheek, smiling down at her. "This is nice," he adds, with a contented sigh.

"Yeah. It is," she agrees, as she bites her lip. "I..." she pauses, and he looks at her concernedly.

"I know," he says simply, continuing to smile down at her, using his fingers to brush her hair from her forehead. "How about we eat first? Then we can talk."

Alicia agrees before reluctantly slipping away from his touch. She throws on pajamas and runs her fingers through her hair as Will dresses, but only in the t-shirt and jeans. The button-down remains haphazardly on the back of the chair.

As she twirls pad thai around her fork, she thinks about how much she likes this: Will in her kitchen, eating takeout with her on a Friday night after work, with no reason for him to leave if he doesn't feel like it.

But then she thinks about how she hates it, too, because they have to keep it secret. Because she can't run around telling everyone that Will Gardner is finally her _boyfriend_ and that she adores him and that she's happy and _screw everyone_ who thought it would never or should never work out between them.

"Are we dating?" she says suddenly, the words spilling from her lips a little unexpectedly. Will's mouth is full of rice and curry; he looks at her, holds up one finger to indicate his need for a moment, then finishes chewing before he speaks.

"Are you ready for that?" Will asks, his voice caring but not uncertain. "I don't want to rush you into anything you're not ready for." He covers her hand with hers and rubs circles on her skin with his thumb. "I'll give you as much time as you need. I'm not going anywhere," he reminds her, repeating his words from a few weeks before.

"I know," she says softly. "But I _am_ ready. Peter and I...well, we hadn't really been in a relationship for a while. I lost my husband a long time ago." An expression of sadness washes over her features, and Will's heart aches for the woman he loves. He never wants to see her like this, so sad, so hurt. "I want a happy life. And I want to control my fate."

Then a smile appears on Alicia's face. "And I want to be with you."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Hi, all! We're baaaack! :) This is a two-part chapter, brought to you by May. Things are about to get interesting...

* * *

It had really only been a few weeks since Will and Alicia had their talk about where they stood as a couple. As September swept in, both of them were finally as happy as they could ever imagine, and things were right as rain between them.

Though every now and then, Alicia had reservations about what she and Will were doing. She had secretly divorced her husband and it hadn't gotten out to the press, a fact for which she was eternally grateful, but now she was sneaking around with her boss again.

Not that she didn't enjoy the sneaking around. In fact, she liked it more because she was free from Peter and didn't have to worry about being a cheating wife. It was exhilarating for both her and Will. Even more so than the first time around. Each time they passed in the halls of the firm they'd have to resist a strong urge to sneak into an empty office for ten minutes. But it was getting to be a problem. There were always eyes on them and though no one knew for sure why they were so close at work, everybody had an inkling that they were sleeping with each other. The problem was confirmed when Robyn brought it up to Alicia as they were exchanging information.

"You and Will seem close," Robyn says casually, a little hint of something else in her voice.

"We're old friends." Alicia smiles politely and brushes it off.

"I mean closer than usual. You seem to be spending a lot of time together here at work lately."

"I don't mean to sound harsh here Robyn, but it's none of your business," Alicia says as kindly as she can, because she really does like Robyn-but it isn't her business.

"I'm sorry. Didn't mean to impose." She smiles awkwardly and begins to leave Alicia's office.

"Wait, Robyn?" Alicia calls. The investigator turns around. "Do you know what people are saying, concerning Will and me?" Alicia doesn't want to make it sound like _something_ but she trusts that Robyn wouldn't mention what Alicia asks her to anyone else.

"Oh, um, well some people are just noticing you seem close." Robyn shifts her stance and leans against the doorway.

"And other people?" Alicia asks softly. If her co-workers are saying anything about her and Will, she has to know. Robyn looks behind her shoulders quickly before walking back to Alicia's desk. She takes a seat on the edge of the chair.

"Okay, you didn't actually hear this from me, but a lot of associates think you're sleeping together. I don't think that. Like you said, you're old friends." She shrugs her shoulders. "Except some of the partners think you only became a partner yourself because you're sleeping with Will. I'm not sure who's saying what because I'm hearing it through the grapevine but that's the general gist of it all." Immediately after she finishes speaking Robyn practically darts from Alicia's office, only to avoid more questions.

Alicia sighs to herself. It sounds like such a jumble of things and she doesn't know what to make of it all. She thought she and Will were being careful around each other. She thinks about what Will said a few days earlier, about how since she's a partner now, it's normal to be talking to him a lot more-but now she wonders if that was just a convenient excuse the two of them found so they could be together more often at work.

She doesn't know how to handle it, so she just sits at her desk for the rest of the day, thinking about all that Robyn said. She pulls out her laptop so it looks like she's doing something, but all she really has in front of her is a blank screen.

* * *

At the end of the day, she decides to just tell Will that they have to calm down at work and not talk as much, or be around each other so much. And they'll have to stop the frequent and unplanned makeout sessions in the elevator because that leaves them flustered, which she _knows_ people can see when they come out of the elevator.

Alicia nods her head in a silent affirmation to herself; this is the right decision. She packs up her things and leaves her office, but her plan fails almost immediately because as soon as she walks out to the lobby, Will happens to be leaving at the same time.

"Are you waiting for me?" he whispers to her just as they stop in front of the elevator.

"Nope. Are you waiting for _me?_" she asks back.

"Nope," he says casually, and she can't help but smile to herself. It's still so exhilarating to be so close to him and have the overwhelming urge to kiss him, but she can't because they have to keep this secret. Their hands almost touch as they wait for the elevator to get to their floor and Alicia realizes she doesn't want to go home and tell Will they have to stop.

"Alicia?" She hears Cary behind her and she turns around. "Before you go, I need you to look over a couple things for me. It won't take long."

"It'd better not. I have a surprise for you." Alicia hears Will say under his breath as he stares straight at the elevator in front of him, never moving his eyes, and she smiles. He always wants her, which is good because she always wants him.

"Sure, Cary. Night, Will." she says professionally. Will turns around to offer Cary a nod, and as she follows Cary to his office, she can practically feel Will looking at her ass as she walks away. She puts a little more sway into her hips, which she knows he can't stand.

"What is it, Cary?" she asks as soon as she is in his office.

"I hate to ask, but I need to know if you're still not saying anything-"

"About you leaving with the other fourth years?" she finishes his sentence. She's fed up with that game so she jumps straight to the point.

"Yes. We're making final moves this week. You know, getting office space arranged, and we don't need things to go wrong."

"I'm going to keep your secret." _She knows how to do that so well._

"Thank you." he says genuinely.

"Was that it?"

"Yeah, sure. Good night, Alicia."

"Night." She starts to make her way back to the elevator, knowing Will is waiting in his car to take her home. But then, a quick thought pops into her head.

She thinks about Cary leaving and how not so long ago, he'd asked her to go with him. At the time, it didn't seem like a good idea. It seemed like a terrible idea. There was no reason to go, and Cary was going behind the partner's backs. _Her back_. Except now, it seemed like a possibility.

If she left, she and Will could just be _happy_ in private and they wouldn't have to hide anything in the office. Not only that, but she'd be a part of something new and exciting. A brand new firm, which had always been a goal of hers. It could solve quite a few problems.

_No, s_he thinks, _I really shouldn't. It's just an easy way ou_t. And Alicia's never taken the easy way out of anything.

She walks through the orange glow of the parking lot and finds Will's car.

"That really didn't take long," Will says as she shuts the door. She leans across the car and kisses him. She hadn't seen anybody nearby, so she decided to take the risk.

"Just a brief he wanted me to look over. It's fine."

"Good. I just want to get home and go to bed."

"Me too."

"I'm too tired these days. All of this conflict with Diane is wearing me out." Alicia reaches over to Will and grabs his arm. He lets go of the steering wheel and holds her hand. She hates how they can't seem to settle on a new name partner after Diane leaves. She wants someone new, but Will wants somebody within the firm because it'll be easier for him to not have to teach someone brand new the ins and outs of how the firm works.

"I agree that you need somebody within the firm. It'd save for a lot of extra effort having new come in."

"Funny you should mention that." Alicia's interest is piqued.

"Did Diane finally side with you?"

"Not exactly. I _did_ decide on someone I would like to run the firm with, though," he says coyly. _It had better not be David freaking Lee, _Alicia thinks.

"Who?" she asks softly because she's suddenly afraid of whose name Will might say.

"You."

"Me?" _Me? Really?_ She considers it momentarily and laughs out loud at how crazy it seems.

"What? You know the firm. You're more than competent to handle it. I'm sure Diane would say yes and I'm sure I could sway the other partners in your favor." He tries to sell it to her but she doesn't believe him.

"You may think I'm competent but I'm certainly not qualified. I've only been a partner for a few months, Will."

"Come on. Just think about it for a while. We'd make a great team." He quickly glances to her and smiles but his eyes drift back to the road in front of them. There was definitely a double meaning there, and she knows it.

She sits in silence for the rest of the ride home, left with an offer she doesn't know how to process. _I shouldn't take it_, she thinks. _There's too much conflict there._ A lot more than she knows Will would like to admit.

* * *

Alicia tries not to think about it for a few days, but when she does, all she can think is that it's a bad idea. She and Will are already a great team and she thinks that maybe spending all day, every day together would be too much.

She likes going to work, not seeing Will every second, and feeling excited to go home because she's missed him all day. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and all of that.

Cary's offer spins around in her head yet again. If she ever left Lockhart/Gardner, she could really have the perfect and uncomplicated life with Will that she so desperately wants. After everything that had happened in the last four and a half years, uncomplicated was sounding better every second.

_It really isn't a bad idea, _Alicia thinks as she steps out of the elevator when coming back from lunch with Will. As she walks back to her office she sees Kalinda eye her a little from down the hallway, probably because it's obvious she has a certain glow about her. That sets it in stone for Alicia: she's going to go with Cary. She's already tired of having to hide everything at work, and she doesn't want to get stuck underneath his offer of partnership, no matter how generous it is.

She gently knocks on Cary's door and he gestures for her to come in.

"Hey, Alicia."

"Hi, Cary." She stands there, fidgeting with her hands a little because she's nervous to ask him if she can still leave with him, afraid he'll say no.

"What's up?" he says, half confused that she isn't saying anything.

"I need to ask you something."

"Shoot."

"If you still want me, can I...leave Lockhart/Gardner with you...and start up your firm?" She says each word carefully, and suddenly everything feels like it's in slow motion.

"Uh. I, uh. I guess." He's most definitely confused and it doesn't surprise Alicia. Asking him so fast even surprises her. "Though if you're serious, you still can't say anything to anyone. Not even…" he trails off and she knows he was about to say Will.

And that's why she has to go. No talk from anyone, because her life is private and she likes to keep it that way.

"Cross my heart." She doesn't like that she has to keep it from Will but she knows she isn't about to risk the other associates' jobs for her personal life. _Will's going to understand, he'll be fine when I tell him, _she thinks, with no idea exactly how wrong she is.

"So… Agos… Florrick?" he asks with a smirk. She freezes as he says Florrick. If she has to keep up the façade that she and Peter are still married, then she'll have to keep the Florrick name.

"It seems it'll have to be Florrick, won't it?" she says, almost laughing at how crazy it is that she'll have to use his name. That's one downside, but the upside is that she has Will now. And if still having to use Peter's name and leaving the firm means she'll have Will, then that's what she's going to give up. It isn't a lot, in the grand scheme of things, and she knows it'll be worth it.

"So we will go with Agos/Florrick, then?"

She takes in a deep breath, readying herself for what she's about to say and how much she'll dislike the sound of it.

"Florrick/Agos is what I think you mean." She smirks, the smallest smirk you can barely see, because she again remembers what she said to Cary months ago.

"So…you're in?"

"I'm in."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **Oh, I said things were going to get interesting, didn't I? Thank you all SO much for your reviews. We are thrilled that you're enjoying this story and sticking with it to see where it goes. :)

Here's part two, also brought to you by May!

* * *

Will is trying his hardest to listen to this woman...w_hat is her name again?..._talk about.. _what is she talking about? _But all he can think about is his offer of partnership to Alicia. She hasn't even mentioned it yet and that makes him nervous. It doesn't make their private life any less difficult, either. It had started to get a little awkward between them and Will just wanted her to answer him. Whether it was a 'yes' or a 'no' he didn't mind. He just wants his lovely and non-awkward Alicia back.

As he is considering taking back the offer, he noticed Diane step toward his office doors. The woman_.. Janey? No.. Joely. That's it.. _is still talking about something or rather but Will takes in the intense and worried look on Diane's face.

"Joely? Could you give me a minute?" he says in a low voice, not paying attention to her or his own words. He registers that she says something but it's unimportant. She exits his office but his eyes are glued to Diane who looks a little shell-shocked.

"What?" he asks, his voice full of concern.

"Alicia's leaving the firm with Cary and she's taking our top clients." She says it without warning, flat-out, and Will doesn't process it right away. He says the words again in his head, _Alicia's leaving_, and it doesn't make sense. _It just doesn't make sense._

"Sh- What?" His tone is hushed, because it doesn't sound real.

"I sat down with one of my clients, Sonya Rucker, and asked if she was leaving the firm. She is. With Cary and Alicia. To their new firm."

"She- With just Cary, right?" He's denying it all, because Alicia would never do that. Not when they'd just started to be happy with each other.

"No. Alicia as well."

"I… When? I- She's a partner."

"Yes, and she had a ten thousand dollar stipend to decorate her office, but she stopped three weeks ago, spending only half." She pauses, but it isn't enough time for him to process it. "She has been planning this for three weeks." It's easier to believe since Diane has a little bit of proof she really has been planning this. He thinks this is the reason Alicia has been so distant. It _was_ about the offer of the partnership, because she's been planning to leave the firm. _Leave him… Again._

"Will, I know this is hard-" He stands before Diane can finish. He has to talk to Alicia. There is no way in hell he won't ask her about it. There is no way in hell this is real. Not when they are finally together, and _happy_, for Christ's sake.

"Document everything," she says firmly as he leaves his office to seek out Alicia. He doesn't want a reason to document everything. Best case scenario is that it's just Cary, and not Alicia. Still, he trusts Diane and if she says Alicia is leaving then it's true, somehow. He feels hurt, and betrayed. There's no way for him to not feel that way right now.

He walks down the halls of his firm, the firm he was willing to share with Alicia, and all he sees is her. He sees her flipping her hair and smiling at him under the sheets from last Tuesday when she stayed over at his house and they barely got any sleep. He sees her smile at him from across the conference room, which was only a few days after they had their brief talk at her apartment. He can still feel how amazing it is when she smiles at him. It's like every dark day he's ever had disappears and it's only her light.

But then this overwhelming feeling of betrayal comes back to him, just as he approaches her door. Her head is down and she's working on something. It all looks normal. She's wearing the jacket he suggested she wear. It was between that and a light blue one, and though grey is boring, grey looks better. And there's a zip at the front, which is easier to take off. But all of that quickly erases from his mind, and he has to ask.

"You're leaving?" he asks quietly, casually, like it's normal, which is what she must think at first.

"No, I just got here." She almost gives him a confused smile, because he knows that she was leaving the house soon after him. Then she gets it.

_He knows._

"You're leaving with Cary," he says again, this time with more conviction, and walks further into her office, closing the door gently behind him, trying not to make it look like something to the other associates. She looks down at her hands, looks back up and locks onto Will's eyes. All she does is nod. Words are barely needed between them now, and it makes Will hurt even more.

"Will…" she says, her voice hitches and Will sees the remorse in her eyes, but he doesn't let it get to him.

"No, Alicia. Don't." He walks to her desk. "We're together. We're happy. I can see it in your face when I'm with you." There's emotion in his voice and Will doesn't like the sound of it, but she's doing something that she could never take back.

"It's not just about us together, Will-"

"Stop it!" He interrupts her abruptly. "Don't try to explain it. I know what it's about."

"You think you do, but it's more about _work-_" she pleads with him, but he's too far into his own thoughts to really hear her.

"Bullshit!" he yells at her, and there's so much rage in him that he moves to one end of her desk and pushes everything off with one sweep of an arm. She stands quickly, and there's some sort of fear in her face because he's never been that angry before. He leans over her desk and looks directly into her eyes.

"This is the last time you do this. The last time you ever do this to me. I love you, but I'm not letting you do this again."

"Will, I lo-"

"Stop it, Alicia! I don't want to hear it. Get out." He sees the tears in her eyes, and as much as it kills him to tell her to go, he just can't look at her anymore. "You say you're leaving, so go." He stands up straight and straightens his suit.

He can feel the eyes behind him staring at the two of them, but he doesn't care. He doesn't want to care about any of it anymore.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Thank you all so much for the reviews. Some of them were quite impassioned. ;) That makes us happy, though, to know you're so invested in this story and where it's going. And we know you love Will and Alicia! (Don't worry. So do we.)

I'll be bringing you this chapter and the next, then May will be back at it with Chapter 8.

Thanks, as always, for reading!

* * *

With Grace at soccer practice and Zach studying at Neesa's, Alicia is unusually grateful for the silence her apartment offers her on this late September afternoon.

She'd spent the rest of the morning and the early afternoon at a bar in the South Loop, figuring no one would be looking for her there. She tucked herself into a booth in the corner, munching on as many bowls of chips and salsa as they'd let her have to help wash down the extra-strong margaritas.

Of all the bad decisions Alicia has made in her life (albeit very few), the decision to hide this life-changing decision from her best friend and partner is definitely the biggest, surpassing even the decision to marry Peter (although that hadn't seemed like such a bad decision at the time-and neither had this one).

She throws her bag unceremoniously on the floor of the entryway, her keys following, and kicks off her heels. Her jacket finds a home on the kitchen island before she collapses on the couch.

All of these things aren't really like Alicia. Her bag has a rightful place near the armchair in the bedroom; her keys in the bowl by the door. Her jacket belongs in the closet, hung neatly beside the shoes placed next to each other on the rack.

But Alicia thinks she might have lost the love of her life today, so to her, it really doesn't matter how many of her things are out of place or what state of chaos her apartment is in.

Without Will, most things in life lack meaning.

She pulls the blanket down from the top of the couch and buries herself in it. Will's harsh and unrelenting fury keeps replaying over and over in her mind.

_Bullshit._

_This is the last time you do this. The last time you ever do this to me. I love you, but I'm not letting you do this again._

If he'd just given her a chance—sixty seconds would've been all she needed—all she needed to explain everything, to explain that this was the logical move not only professionally, but also personally—that they would be able to stop tiptoeing around each other at the office, that they could come home every night and not worry about conflicts of interest or Diane getting suspicious or the other partners making assumptions.

That she did this _for _them, not to destroy them, that she did this _for _him, not to hurt him, because she loves him and she wants to be happy with him—

Alicia sighs, her heart weighing her chest down like a brick.

_Stop it, Alicia. I don't want to hear it._

_Get out._

* * *

Grace and Zach arrive home together, as he'd picked his sister up from practice. Alicia is half-asleep on the couch when she hears the door open and her kids bickering playfully.

All chatter stops as soon as they enter the living room and see their mother surrounded by a pile of tissues.

"Mom?" Zach asks uncertainly. "Are you okay?"

"I'm not feeling well," Alicia lies, pretending her sniffles are coming from a cold as opposed to tears.

Grace looks at her mother a little sadly. "Want me to make dinner? Or order takeout? We can watch movies with you after we finish our homework."

Alicia smiles. "You guys don't have to take care of me. I'll be fine."

Zach shakes his head. "You always take care of us. Here. Find something that sounds good. We'll order dinner," he says firmly, bringing her the Chinese food menu from the fridge.

She beckons her son closer with her index finger, and he smiles as she kisses him on the forehead. She scans the menu and chooses her usual: egg drop soup with extra wontons and an order of beef and broccoli. Grace heads to her room to work on her advanced algebra homework while Zach orders dinner. As he takes a seat on the couch, he lets Alicia pull him close into a one-armed hug.

"Sit with me," she instructs him, and Zach smiles, reaching for the remote.

* * *

When the food arrives, Grace takes the white cardboard containers out of the plastic bag and lines them up on the dining room table. She places the napkins and plasticware next to each dinner plate and calls "dinner!" to her mom and brother.

Alicia kisses Grace on the top of her head. "Thanks for making all this," she jokes, and Grace giggles as she unwraps her chopsticks.

She takes a sip of the familiar yellow broth and smiles sadly to herself.

_Will stood at her door, shaking the water out of his hair and carefully hanging up his wet jacket._

"_Is it raining?" Alicia teased._

"_Nope, nope. Just thought I'd get in the shower before I came over to see you, but I somehow managed to forget to take all my clothes off. Wet denim is the new thing, you know?" he teased back._

"_Is Chinese okay for dinner?" she proposed, grabbing the menu from the coffee table. _

"_Perfect," Will declared, taking the menu from her. "So many egg rolls, please. And beef and broccoli. And rice."_

"_How many is so many?" Alicia asked. "Are we talking five, or twenty, or…"_

"_At least five. Maybe ten. I haven't eaten since that half-muffin you gave me in Legal Process and Society."_

"_...that was nine hours ago!"_

_He shrugged. "I'm a busy man, Leesh."_

"_Uh-huh. Busy with all the women?"_

"_Nope. Just one woman," he declared, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her close. Will kissed her cheek and Alicia smiled, turning forward to place a kiss on his lips._

"_Well, this woman wants egg drop soup, pronto."_

_"Let's make that happen," Will declared, reaching behind her to grab the phone._

* * *

Cary called after dinner, and Alicia stepped into the hallway to talk with him. She hadn't told Zach and Grace what had happened at work today; considering she didn't know what her next steps would be, it seemed easier to avoid the subject altogether.

"What are we going to do?" are the first words out of her mouth.

"Well hello to you too, Alicia," Cary responded, and Alicia sighed.

"Sorry. Hi, Cary."

"Hey. So, I got the office space thing figured out, and I talked Diane into letting us submit formal resignations as opposed to getting fired."

"She always liked you," Alicia mused.

"Why didn't Will fire you?" he asked. "I saw your office after you left. Did he really throw everything off your desk?"

"Yeah. It was...scary," she admitted. "There's...stuff, Cary. Between me and Will."

"I _know_," Cary said. "But that still doesn't explain why he didn't fire our asses and kick us out."

"For the same reason Diane didn't. No need for the drama. We're adults. We'll clean out our offices tomorrow and be on our way."

"How is this going to affect...you two?" Cary asked gingerly.

"I don't know. I've never seen Will that furious,, so I'm thinking it's going to affect it quite a bit."

"I'm sorry," he says sincerely, and Alicia knows he means it. "I never meant for this to cause a rift between you two."

"Don't be sorry. It's my fault. I-we-should have been more up front with them. Especially me, as a partner. I _deserved _to get fired. The only reason I didn't is because Will's personal feelings clouded his professional judgment too much. I deserved much more than just that little lashing out."

"Well, the only thing we can do is move forward," he says, and Alicia nods to herself in assent. "We can get into the new space on Monday. Robyn is going to turn in her resignation tomorrow, too. She's coming with us."

"Wow. That's...that's great. I didn't know if she'd jump ship for sure."

"She respects you, Alicia. Quite a bit, actually. I think we can make this work."

"I hope so," she adds. "I guess I'll see you in the morning?"

"Yeah. See you then," Cary replies.

* * *

After going back inside, she walks into the kitchen, sets her phone down on the island, then makes her way to the small storage space. Dumping some of Peter's things into trash bags, she empties two cardboard boxes and places a roll of packing tape inside.

The laptop's sleep indicator glows at her from the coffee table, and she sighs, picking it up and opening the word processor.

She stares at the screen, the cursor blinking at her almost mockingly. But she has no choice; she has to do this.

Her heart aches with every word she types. The words on this page are starting to sound all too familiar.

This resignation letter to Lockhart/Gardner feels a lot more like a goodbye letter to Will, a goodbye letter eerily similar to the one she'd written him nearly twenty years earlier.

_This is the last time you do this. The last time you ever do this to me. I love you, but I'm not letting you do this again._

Again.

Alicia had already done this before-broken Will's heart by saying goodbye.

He'd forgiven her once, but she doesn't expect him to do it again.

_Stop it, Alicia. I don't want to hear it._

_Get out._


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: **Hi everyone! :) I'm back with Chapter 7! Tag to 5.7, "The Next Week." Sorry for the delay in updating-school is back in session and life is completely crazy once again. Thanks for your patience!

* * *

Alicia sits on the couch, hugging her knees to her chest, staring at the wall in front of her. She knows she should try to get some sleep, but she's certain it's not going to happen.

She can feel pangs of exhaustion in her eyes, but nothing else. Her muscles should be aching, her heart should feel heavy-but she doesn't feel anything. She just feels numb.

And alone.

2am rolls around, and she decides to crawl into bed, thinking the blankets and pillows might bring her some comfort, but they don't. She rests on her side, staring at the empty pillow across from her, wondering if Will will ever stop being angry with her. She wants, more than anything, for his head to rest on that pillow at the end of a long day.

24 hours ago, that was still a possibility.

Now, it may never be.

When 5am arrives, and with it the first light of the day, she gets out of bed and stumbles sleepily to the shower. She spends the next hour and a half getting ready, meticulously running the flat iron through her hair and applying exactly four swipes of mascara to each eye. She rubs her lips together after covering them with the perfect shade of red.

Alicia shrugs her suit jacket on and exits the bedroom at exactly 6:25. Realizing that this is an especially early departure, she leaves a note for Zach and Grace, explaining that she'd left early for work and reminding them that she'd bought frozen waffles (their favorite) for breakfast.

She picks up the empty cardboard boxes and the envelope right where she'd left them by the door, swings her purse over her shoulder, and walks confidently to the elevator.

The barista at Starbucks hands her something he called a "black eye," a venti coffee with two shots of espresso, fulfilling her request for the most caffeine in a cup that wouldn't kill her. She hasn't eaten breakfast, so she's relying on this caffeine flowing through her veins to keep her going.

When she arrives at the office and presses the button for the 28th floor, she wonders briefly if this is the last time she'll be doing this, only to remember that this firm is about to become her rival. Surely they'll face each other in court, and in depositions beforehand.

"Alicia!" she hears Cary call, and she reaches out to stop the elevator doors from closing. He also carries with him two empty boxes and an envelope.

"Hey," she says, smiling sadly at him. "How are you?"

Cary shrugs. "Fine. Ready to get this over with."

She nods. "Me too."

"We can take the stuff right over to the new office, if you want. There's no furniture yet, but we're welcome to take our things," he says, shifting the empty boxes in his arms.

"I think I'll wait until the weekend," Alicia decides as the elevator signals their arrival on the 28th floor. "Should we do this part together?"

"Yeah," he says. "Might be easier."

They set the boxes down outside their respective offices, ignoring the stares from everyone around them. Diane waits for them in her office, but Will is nowhere to be found.

"I'm sorry it had to be like this," Diane says sincerely, holding her hand out for the two envelopes. Alicia and Cary's hands stretch out to meet hers, and she sets the papers down on her desk. "Thank you for everything you did for the firm."

"Thank you, Diane," Alicia says, and Cary echoes her words.

Diane nods. "I'm sure we'll see you in court."

As they leave her office, Alicia turns back, opening her mouth to speak, but closes it almost immediately, realizing it's best if she doesn't ask.

"He didn't want to be here for this," Diane says, answering the question Alicia hadn't vocalized.

Alicia nods, turning to leave without saying another word.

She barely makes it back to her office before she loses the ability hold back her tears.

* * *

Once the two boxes are loaded in her trunk, Alicia climbs into the driver's seat and examines herself in the rearview mirror. Noticing that her waterproof mascara only stayed partially intact, she grabs a tissue from her purse to fix her raccoon eyes.

There's only one person she can think of she wants to talk to at this moment, and she is happy he picks up when she calls.

"Sis? What's wrong?"

"Why do you think something's wrong, Owen?"

"...you're calling me in the middle of the week. At 9:30 in the morning."

"Yeah. Um. Do you teach today?"

"I have a class from 10:30 to 11:45, but I'm done after that. Why? What's going on?"

She sighs. "Can you come over? And bring wine?"

"Absolutely."

* * *

Owen arrives before 1pm, toting the promised bottles of wine along with a grocery bag full of snacks. Wordlessly, Alicia grabs both bottles of wine and sets them on the kitchen counter.

"Well, hello there, sister," Owen says, but Alicia doesn't respond. She twists the foil off, inserts the corkscrew, and pops it out before setting it down and pushing the entire bottle toward Owen. She repeats the same procedure for bottle number two, except she keeps it for herself, taking a drink before she speaks. "Drinking wine from the bottle? Alicia-"

"I screwed up," she whispers. "I screwed up, Owen, and I don't know how to fix it."

"Oh, sis," Owen says, pushing his bottom lip above his top in a sad face. "What happened?"

She places her elbows on the counter , shifting her weight to her arms. "I...left."

"Peter? I know. That's not screwing up."

"No. I left Lockhart/Gardner."

"You...what?" he asks. "Hang on." He takes a long drink from the bottle. "You quit your job?"

"Not exactly," she starts, reaching for her wine. "I...okay. I was planning to leave with Cary and start our own firm. But Diane found out, and told Will. And Will was furious. He threw everything off my desk and told me to get out."

"Oh my _god_, Alicia. What did you do?"

Alicia shrugs. "I left. What else was I supposed to do? I didn't have a choice. Cary convinced Diane they shouldn't fire us, so we turned in our resignation letters this morning and took everything from our offices." She looks toward the two cardboard boxes on the floor, and Owen's eyes follow hers.

"I'm sorry," Owen tells her sincerely, covering her hand with his. "Have you talked to Will since?"

She shakes her head. "I don't know if he ever wants to talk to me again, Owen. I really screwed up this time." He moves around the counter to hug his sister, and she leans into his arms. "Thank you."

"I'm here, sis. Everything is going to be fine. Now, get your butt to the couch. We're going to eat snacks and drink wine and get you drunk enough to forget that your life is in shambles."

Alicia chuckles as she picks up the bag of chips and moves toward the living room with her bottle of wine. "I don't think that's possible."

* * *

"Hey. I know you," Owen says, recognizing the impeccably dressed and incredibly handsome man in the suit. He'd know him anywhere.

"Owen," Will responds, surprised.

"Yeah. Well, Dr. Cavanaugh. You're Alicia's boss, from her work. Will."

"Yeah," Will responds, a little distractedly. "You teach here?"

"I do. Mathematical sciences. Professor of the month, actually. I get all the free frozen yogurt I want from YouGoGurt."

"So-do you know Dr. Delaney?"

"I do. Yeah. Why?"

"Can we talk? In your office?" Will asks, looking hopeful. Owen thinks to himself that if Will had ever looked at Alicia like this, she couldn't have possibly denied him anything he wanted.

"Sure. I have buckets of fro-yo in my freezer."

They make the short walk to Owen's office, where he offers Will a cup of chocolate fro-yo. Will takes a bite and nods his head approvingly. "This is pretty good."

Will explains the case he's working on, with Jeffrey and Dani and Dr. Delaney, and Owen informs him of all the rumors and professor gossip he's overheard in the halls.

"Owen, thanks for your help," he says, tossing the empty cup into the trash. "I'll be in touch if I think of anything else you might know."

"Sure," Owen replies, taking a bite of his yogurt. "Hey...Will?" he adds uncertainly. "Before you go...I need to tell you something."

"If this is about Alicia," Will starts, but Owen holds up his hand.

"It is. And you need to hear it. Because she thinks you don't want to, but I think you _need_ to."

* * *

Alicia is just finishing dinner when she hears a knock on the door. Sighing to herself, she sets her empty plate on the counter before heading to the door. It had been a long day at Florrick/Agos, and she is neither anticipating nor in the mood for visitors.

Everything is forgotten when she opens the door and realizes who stands on the other side.

"We need to talk."


End file.
